arrowsandblades: crzyblackidd: “Crocs” by Pitbull feat. Nickelback Download for free on Internet Explorer
wallysdick: cosmo tip #247 during intercourse, embrace him and softly whisper “are you feeling it mr. krabs?
churchofcheesus: my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work
*one thing comes on the radio*
me: shot it right in my eye...
mum: your eye... huh?
me: you're my slut tonight...
mum: wait a second-
me: you keep making me weak...
mum: oh okay...
me: suck it and don't speak.
mum: *stops car* get out.
me after running for one minute: i'm still alive, but i'm barely breathing
Adele: I set fire to the rain.
Leo: I set fire to the mother.
Hermione: I set fire to the snape.
Cinna: I set fire to the girl.
Seamus: I set fire to everything
captstyles: do you ever just stare intently at yourself and wonder why your fab personality wasn’t matched with a fab face
icoulduseinsouciantmaybe: I have primary fandoms, secondary fandoms, and tertiary fandoms, and they cycle in and out like electrons orbits in an atom.
biznasties: if you’ve ever had a crush on me god bless your poor misguided heart
parents: don't stay up all night on the computer
looks at clock
looks at clock again
using the term ‘yolo’ sarcastically so often that you’re really not sure if you’re joking or not now
My Dad: I like Tom Hiddleston better with dark hair, it really brings out his blue eyes.
My Dad: That sounded gayer than I thought it would jesus christ
I may look innocent but goddamn my thoughts are filthier than a whore’s mind
cybergirlfriend: i hate that im sensitive and jealous and stupid and quiet and ugly and annoying
shrugging: if i had a penny for every time i’ve touched someones butt i’d still have no pennies
sallymurphy: sometimes i look at random people on the train or walking down the street and wonder about their day or what they had for breakfast or where they grew up and if they’re having a good or a bad day and i wonder if people do the same to me
me: does 5 situps
me: where are my abs
at school: can you stop talking because i dont care
godsquito: A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know
pfefferi: contrary to popular belief, vincent van gogh actually cut his ear off so he could not hear the haters
pitchblackglow: nothing to eat, nothing to watch, no one to text, nothing to post, nothing to do.
penotbutter: “REBLOG IF YOURE NOT TUMBLR FAMOUS *16 glee gifs and various gifs of people throwing glitter and that ‘i regret nothing’ gif*” i think i know why ur not tumblr famous
edwrad: the jokes people start on here are funny but then loads of other people try to capitalize on it and try to make spin offs for notes and that’s how this website rapes and murders every joke it gets its hands on
iwritesinsnotfanfiction: what if ke$ha had an evil british twin named ke£ha
Book!Cat: Ned, you must go to Kings Landing to help Robert and find out what happened to Jon Arryn!
HBO!Cat: Ned, stay here with me!
Book!Cat: Robb, let's trade for the girls and sue for peace. You can't bring your father back.
Book!Cat: Look, Robb, I know you don't want to negotiate with the Lannisters but you have to give them something. Okay, those terms aren't exactly what I was thinking but you're the King.
HBO!Cat: ::strangely missing from the negotiation table::
Book!Cat: I don't care what you say, Robb, I'm not going home I'm staying right here by any means necessary. Also if you're going to negotiate with Balon Greyjoy you shouldn't give up our only hostage.
HBO!Cat: You can't trust Balon! I want to go home!
Book!Cat: Trying to forge an alliance with Renly Baratheon could be a good idea.
HBO!Cat: Okay, Robb, I'll go negotiate with Renly, but I really want to go home.
Book!Cat: Releases Jaime after hearing about Rickon and Bran's "deaths", hoping to get back Sansa, who besides being her beloved daughter, is also a useful political piece (as Tywin *and* Robb would later note) and at that moment Robb's heir
HBO!Cat: Releases Jaime because all her children are held captive and she wants them back
Book!Robb: Forgives his mother because he has also done something "dishonorable"
HBO!Robb: LOL HOUSE ARREST
The worse part is that it's not even all there is.
Book!Cat: Defends herself during the attack on the way to the Vale and slits a man's throat.
HBO!Cat: Cowers in a corner with her eyes closed.
Book!Cat: Convinces Ser Robar Royce to defend Brienne, knocks out Ser Emmon Cuy with an iron brazier and sneaks out of Renly's camp with Brienne in stride.
HBO!Cat: Shows less initiative than Brienne (the girl who just witnessed the death of the man she loved).
Book!Cat: Accepts the full responsibility of her actions (releasing Jaime) and tells everyone she will willingly be punished for it.
HBO!Cat: FORGIVE ME
When people say they like my blog I calmly say thank you with a smiley but on the inside I want to bake you a cake and make you a mixed CD filled with all your old favorite songs that you can’t remember anymore so that when you play it you feel all nostalgic and happy and then throw glitter at you because I love you.
normal people playing a video game: ...
me playing a video game: HYAAAAAAAAAAAH TAKE THAT YO MOTHERFUIGSACJ NO OMGHFD NO SHIT FUCKIGN ASHASIGHOLE ASFHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HYAH SUCK IT BITCH YEAH YE DAS RIGHT WHO DA BOSS FUCK WHAT IS THAT COMBO HOLY SHIT HOW DO I DO THAT AGAIN YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *presses every single button on console* NO WAIT JESUS WHAT IS THAT HOW AM I EVEN DOING THAT OFSFHDGSJ JUMP YOU ASSHOLE JUMP HWEHRE IS STOP SHIOOTIGN ME OH GCRAP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HELP ME SOMEONE PLEASERAS I NEED SOME GARGOYLES
my tumblr relationships
me: omfg ily i swear we're like long lost twins or something your blog is my life
me: also what is your name
jamtards: in her bedroom the mighty bedroom the fangirl blogs tonight
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. We can put a stop to this. Please reblog.
sexymixedkid: can i please just touch you inappropriately
mrsjamespotter: i say i own a blog, but the truth is the blog owns me
catoniss: the rest of europe forget that we have dumbledore and he’ll probably give us an extra few hundred points just for exisiting
kanyewestvirginia: hey i just met you and this is crazy but now that you have read this you cannot stop i am a 13 year old girl from minnesota who was brutally murdered and if you do not repost this in .00043 seconds a clown will come in your room and attack you in your sleep with a chainsaw
iknewiwasagoner: can this weird falling ink gif trend go away now?
Going to a friend's house.
Normal people: What a lovely home you have!
Me: What's your wifi password?
darrenfartspuppies: REMEMBER WHEN “LET THE MAGIC BEGIN” REMEMBER WHEN “SOMETHING EVIL HAS RETURNED TO HOGWARTS” REMEMBER WHEN “SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES” REMEMBER WHEN “EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO CHANGE” REMEMBER WHEN “THE REBELLION BEGINS” REMEMBER WHEN “DARK SECRETS REVEALED” REMEMBER WHEN “NOWHERE IS SAFE” REMEMBER WHEN “IT ALL ENDS HERE”
whenever you feel ordinary just remember that youre the only one with that url
I wonder how many of my followers even know my name lol
valiantchild: just a reminder that most of you sang in our language, and you’re competing in our olympics, and celebrating our jubilee
cybergay: I THROW A GIANT BUCKET OF AMINO ACIDS IN YOUR FACE AND YOU BRACE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU’RE STUPID AND PROBABLY THOUGHT IT WOULD MELT YOUR FACE OFF BUT AMINO ACIDS ARE ACTUALLY HEALTHY VITAMINS AND I HAVE DECIEVED YOU
Fangirls: hey I just met you
Fangirls: and this is crazy
Fangirls: but ASDFGHJKL;EIHIEHVNAUEBAUWEBUBAY
Fangirls: LKJHGFDAEUIGRHBKHVUEAEVAWEUIHSN maybe
vocaroo: shout out to my friend for picking the most inappropriate background music for her class project on alzheimer’s disease “somebody that i used to know”
berlitz: do you ever feel like you like someone a lot more than they like you and then start to feel like you’re just annoying them because while you always want to talk to them they probably don’t always want to talk to you and it stresses you out a lot and then you just start to feel really depressed about it
do you ever look at your own blog and tell yourself “wow you have great taste in everything” because i do
thecoletrainbaby: hey i just met you and this is crazy but i see your text post and holy shit i wish i could make you feel better oh my god i am so sorry you’re having a bad day gODDAMNIT WHAT DO I DO TO FIX THIS
cuntakinte: do you ever see someone and think oh my god i would like to be responsible for your next orgasm
richwhitelesbian: im so glad i met the internet
ander-son: I swear the UK’s like that kid who sits in the back of the class and does just enough work to actually get by each year but really they don’t actually give a shit and they’re only there to laugh at the other kids and make bitch ass comments about everyone in the class and everyone else in the class loves each other and they all play with each other at break time and the UK just sits...