May 2012
2 tags
me: opens tumblr
me: sees pictures of OTP
me: makes weird noises
me: rolls off bed
me: rolls out window
me: rolls into street
me: rolls off the earth
me: floats into space
me: incinerates in the sun
me: reblogs post
2 tags
me while on tumblr: (/ ◕ ∇ ◕)/*:･ﾟ✧ ♥
me not on tumblr: (。 ¬__¬)
5 tags
everyone else: i'm getting an ipad and a laptop and $300 worth of clothes and...
me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK
April 2012
3 tags
Liam playing COD
Liam: *Kills you*
Liam: Oh no are you ok?
1 tag
malikismywhore:
i really want to know how it feels that people send you asks all the time
and not for rating blogs or shit like that
only because they want to talk or ask you stupid things..
2 tags
people: you're so mean
me: i'm nice i just dont like you
3 tags
When your computer says that it's connected to the...
2 tags
I can make fun of my idol, you can't.
3 tags
fuckyeahgirlcrush:
Mythbusters seriously needs to do an episode to see if two people could actually fit on that goddamn door without flipping it or sinking it so that we can finally put this issue to bed after fifteen years.
2 tags
that person who follows you and you follow them and you really want to be bffsies with them and you freak out whenever they like something you post but then you never actually do anything about it
2 tags
everykissbeginswithgay:
when i find myself in times of boredom
mother mary comes to me
speaking words of wisdom
NC-17
4 tags
Reblog if you think J.K. Rowling is a genius.
PLEASE GET THIS TO 1,000,000 NOTES!
2 tags
gweebog:
there are like five people on here who i check are still following me every single time i lose a follower just fyi if any of you five ever do unfollow me i’ll quit tumblr and become a full time cat so no pressure
1 tag
jimsturgess:
the process of liking one direction is:
step 1: denial
step 2: self-hatred
step 3: acceptance
3 tags
partypeen:
instead of doing my homework i like to stay on the computer and worry about how much homework i have to do
3 tags
British Teenage Boys
rebeccaleighw:
Rest of the worlds Expectations: “your eyes are as blue as a summers sky. your lips, two blushing pilgrims. If thou will spare me some time on this tedious day, I’d love to share some tea with you.”
Reality: “nar, seriously though, you’ve got canny nice tits. me mams not in sunday, if ye fancy a shag come over.”
2 tags
parcelhare:
That awkward moment when you lock eyes with someone from across the room and you both realize you are obligated to have a pokemon battle.
1 tag
piedoomrandomcheese:
orelpuppington:
if your url contains the words ‘pie’, ‘doom’, ‘random’, or ‘cheese’
stop
wow rude
2 tags
snoopdong:
shaving23spiders:
i just saw a kony 2012 poster covering a fucking speed limit sign
i quit
2012 mph it is then
1 tag
wonka-bar:
you know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the sofa and when you wake up you’re still on the sofa
2 tags
gvccibitch:
will you go out with me?
A) yes
B) a
C) b
2 tags
if i ever become famous, you all better ship me with every person i come in contact with.
2 tags
James: Heyyy bff you should totally be our secret keeper yeah?
Sirius: Nah dude. My animagus form, the reflection of my innermost soul, is a dog, the most loyal animal ever. You should probably go with the guy who turns into a rat instead, the universal symbol of betrayal.
James: Ahh yeah dude you're right omg kay cool thanks bro.
2 tags
favorite character: dead
1 tag
me: ask me something?
followers:
me:
followers:
me: ok. I will reblog some photos.
2 tags
nippleback:
my dad called me to his room and he was like “there’s a monster under my bed” and i checked and it was one of those energy drinks omg
4 tags
Mum: Why aren't you doing homework?
Me: I want to show my teachers that they don't own me, I'm more than just a piece in their stupid school.
3 tags
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a fucking moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
3 tags
zackisontumblr:
If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”
1 tag
me: hey i just met you
me: and this is crazy
me: but i own all your albums and have your posters on my wall and a blog dedicated to you and i cry over your face daily
me: so call me maybe
4 tags
santana-brittany:
finnick and annie more like rips heart off and throws it against a wall
2 tags
i have a test tomorrow and i have zero idea what i have been doing the past 2 weeks
am i even in this class
why do i have to know what imaginary numbers are; aren’t they just imaginary
3 tags
gatiss:
fallapatorius:
gatiss:
merthuriscanon:
do you ever cry because you just miss merlin so much
do you ever cry because you just miss sherlock so much
do you ever cry because you just miss doctor who so much
bbc.
4 tags
past me: cries about boys not kissing me
present me: cries about boys not kissing each other
1 tag
teacupbeagle:
you know what i hate
when someone’s a lesbian and another girl is like “omg i’m afraid to go near her she might rape me because she’s lesbian” are you fucking stupid i am literally going to punch a hole through your face
1 tag
joydivsion:
i feel as though i should apologize to my parents for being such a worthless untalented piece of shit
2 tags
I wish Tumblr had a “I feel your pain” button
because I feel terrible whenever I “like” one of your sad text posts
and it looks like I enjoy watching you suffer
because I don’t
I really don’t
1 tag
clayaiken2003:
my idea of a perfect salad is a piece or two of lettuce and 5 pounds of croutons
2 tags
paceboy:
see you drivin’ round town
with the girl i love and i’m like
ok
2 tags
HOW I WOULD DO IN THE HUNGER GAMES
Announcer: 5, 4, 3—
Me on the platform: *trips*
*BOOM*
3 tags
quinnisgay:
thebrotherswinchester:
at what point in a mutual followship am i allowed to address you by name and reply to all your posts and consider you one of my friends and stuff
#if you’re waiting for a sign #this is it
2 tags
italys-ovaries:
What are you trying to say tumblrbot
4 tags
*a friends speech on my wedding day*
friend: I still remember her hanging up a poster of him, and she told me that she was going to marry him. We laughed about it, but it turned out that she was right.
3 tags
Gale: You're on the phone with your baker he's upset
Katniss: oh no
Gale: Goin' off about some cake that he burnt
Gale: 'cause he doesn't know how to hunt like I do
Katniss: Gale stop
Gale: I'm in the woods it's a typical Sunday afternoon
Gale: I'm hunting the kind of squirrels he doesn't like
Gale: He'll never be able to hunt like I do
Gale: CUZ HE BAKES BREAD
Gale: I MAKE SNARES
Gale: HE EATS CUPCAKES
Gale: AND I HUNT BEARS
Katniss: Gale just stop
8 tags
Relationship Advice from Starkids
Darren: You're tall and fun and pretty, you're really really skinny...Cho Chang
Joey: You never tell a girl who like her, it makes you look like an idiot.
Joe Moses: You want to take her boobies and put them on your face and go BLEGBLEOOBLWOIJEFKKJF.
A.J. Holmes: Sometimes your one true love turns out to be the person you initially disliked.
Lily: If you wait long enough eventually he'll HAVE to love you!
4 tags
friend: imagine you could read harry potter again without knowing what's going to happen..
me:
friend:
me:
friend:
me:
friend: why are you crying?
1 tag
FACT: I have this problem where if someone kisses...
2 tags
mishacollinspenis:
if drarry isn’t your otp then what is wrong with you omg
1 tag
wankbankofamerica:
I may look innocent but goddamn my thoughts are filthier than a whore’s mind
3 tags
do you ever ship yourself with a famous person so much that you start to believe you’re dating
or is that just me
